October 14, 2009

Tear, tear.

Lets talk about tears.

This morning I could have started my own lake. Yup. Lake Andrea.

Boy, this morning was rough. I was crying while taking a picture with her. I cried putting her in her car seat. I cried on the way to her daycare (which is 1 minute from our house). I cried carrying her to the door. Then I managed to suck it up for... 5.2 seconds.

I made small talk.

Gave instructions.


I bawled. Omi-stinkn'-goodness. That was so incredibly hard. It's not that I don't have faith that Deb isn't going to do a good job. It's not that I think she's not going to be OK. Because she will.

But Momma is not OK. I guess in my head I'm afraid she's going to think that Deb is her mom. She might as well after all because she's going to be spending a lot more time with her than me.

Her REAL mom.

Anyways, I cried all the way out to my vehicle. I cried for about another 5 minutes. Tried calling Sean but he didn't answer. A few minutes later he calls back. I start bawling.


I cried when I walked in to work. (Hugs are a bad thing sometimes when a girl is on the verge of tears.)

I cried when I put up pictures of her. I cried later whenever I looked at her pictures. I cried whenever my boobs hurt. And not because of pain. I missed her.

Then finally I pulled myself together. And I couldn't have been any happier whenever I opened the door when I got home! I think she probably received about a hundred kisses. Really.

Anyways, you can call me a baby if you wish. If you are someone that didn't want your child to have to go to daycare, but had to anyways, then you can probably sympathize a little. Or a lot.

And because it's cute, here is a picture of Lyla from dinner last night. She crashed out in the highchair!!

I can't even imagine sending her off to school.
Or letting her move out of the house.
Or even out of our room!!!
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